Lunch with Tina & Todd

Sunday, August 31, Vernon and I met Tina, his heart donor's wife, and Todd, her boyfriend, for lunch. Of course, Tina had told him about us and told us about him. This was only our third time to be with Tina since we met her April 5 but we've kept in touch by phone. It was great to see her again and meet the man that she is spending lots of time with.

Tomorrow night we are meeting some of our heart transplant friends for a mini-reunion and Tina is going with us so she can meet them. None of the heart recipients we'll be with have met their donor's family so I hope that meeting her will be an encouragement for them.

Vernon had four more radiation treatments this week so I think the total so far is 17 of 30. I'm glad he's more than halfway finished. Eating is not very enjoyable for him right now because nothing tastes right. Some mornings after radiation he feels sick and other mornings he doesn't. The main side effect is fatigue. The part of his face being radiated is red and he's noticed that the sideburns and whiskers don't grow as much on that side. I plan to take some pictures so you can see for yourself.

In my last post I said Vernon was a great help preparing for Emily's wedding but I was incorrect in the account about the hymnal and rubber bands. The woman came prepared with rubber bands to hold the hymnal open but when those broke, Vernon found replacements for her. Other problems that he solved: found floodlights lights for a dark hallway that led to the reception area; suggested we cover concrete blocks that were holding two doors open with wrapping paper to make them look like gifts; and while I was trying to cover one block, he noticed the spider web inside looked like a Black Widow's so he got an electric lighter and destroyed it. Other ways he helped would be difficult to describe, but trust me, he was a valuable member of the team. I'm so glad that he was able to be there with me.

Meeting Tina

This was the day we’d been anticipating and hoping would happen since the heart transplant: meet the family of Vernon’s organ donor and thank them. We had a wonderful afternoon with Tina at Cracker Barrel -where else? It is a family place and seemed appropriate to me. By phone I’d told her what we were wearing and she said she was in white, so it was easy to find each other. We first sat outside in the rocking chairs after greeting Tina with hugs. She’d brought pictures of their wedding so we got to see his parents and siblings also. One picture of Steven was taken shortly before his death and he’s proudly holding a bass he’d caught. She said he loved to fish.

We felt comfortable with her immediately and we all three talked easily. I shed a few tears but not as much as I expected. They lived no more than four miles from us and our paths could have crossed easily without us knowing it. Tina now lives in Cocoa but still works in Orlando.

What caused Steven’s death was a blow to his head by an angry man which caused him to fall and hit his head on the floor. Tina described it as brain death. This happened very early in the morning of Feb. 3, 2006. It was her idea to donate his organs. When she approached his family with the idea, they agreed to it. That evening is when we received the first call saying it was possible that a heart had been found for Vernon and the morning of the 4^th when he was taken to surgery.

Besides the pictures, Tina brought with her the letter she received from Trans Life that provided some details regarding the lives that were saved by her decision to donate. In addition to Vernon receiving Steven’s heart, his liver went to a 27 yr old man in FL. One lung went to a 58 yr old man also in FL and the right kidney to at 14 yr old girl in TX. It was a perfect match, which is very rare. The final recipient was a 49 yr old male who suffered from Type 1 diabetes and hypertensive nephrosclerosis. He received the left kidney and pancreas. He now lives free of dialysis and daily insulin injections. So five individuals and their families benefited from the gift of Steven’s organs!

Tina described Steven as a fun-loving man with a big heart full of love. His memorial was Friday afternoon, Feb. 10, and the service was packed. He loved fireworks, as does Vernon, and that evening his family enjoyed some in his memory. It is now two years and two months since his death and the transplant.

Before we parted, Tina rested her head against Vernon’s chest to hear Steven’s heart. That scene is one of the photos below. The bandage on Vernon’s right temple is from some recent surgery. I hope our expressions convey how we were feeling – happy grateful. We plan to keep in touch and meet Steven’s family next. His birthday is April 25 and he would have been 45.